


Taking Forever

by Allyjayrunaway



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Mostly Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 16:31:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3141188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allyjayrunaway/pseuds/Allyjayrunaway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been four days since the battle under the Lustig, four days since they defeated The Dean and saved the others. Four days since they lost the only one that really mattered. Finally Laura is ready to speak, what will she say?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taking Forever

**Author's Note:**

> A'ight. I wrote this basically in one sitting, plus this is my first fic in a loooong time, so please...be kind. And enjoy. On tumblr and twitter as @emmmkay45.

Laura sat on Carmilla’s bed, shoulders hunched as if weighed down by a thousand tons, clutching the yellow pillow like every inch of the gaudy fabric would bring her new life. Of course, it wouldn’t. She doubted very seriously that she would ever actually be happy again, and with every passing hour, the future looked increasingly bleak. Sure, she’d finish out the semester with barely passing grades, she’d go home to her blissfully oblivious father who would want to hear all about the adventures she could never share with him, she’d come back after break because she wouldn’t be able to bear giving up any more of her useless roommate, and she’d be forced to keep pace with a world moving at the speed of sound when inside she can’t hear a thing.  
Everyone was always quick to point out that she was the ‘naïve, provincial girl’, good-hearted yet unaware of the true nature of the world, when in reality she’d frequented the dark side more often than most. It was funny, really, how no one had ever questioned her lack of a mother figure, they’d all seemed to instinctually accept the fact and move on with their lives. The fact being that Carmilla wasn’t her first close up with death, she had had a mother once. Her death had been slow, seemingly rotting her from the inside out as the disease spread throughout her extremities, finally clawing its way up her spinal cord and into her brain. After that happened, Laura’s life had begun to feel a lot like hell. Her own mother no longer knew who she was and her father had no time for ‘small problems’, at his wife’s bedside until the bitter end. Laura herself had been at school when that moment came, a fact she was eternally grateful for; thankful that she hadn’t been forced to witness those final moments.  
She had said her goodbyes, had been prepared. Her dad had not. He’d spiraled into depression and she’d spiraled right into all the wrong circles. He hadn’t snapped out of it until she’d gotten high and wrapped their Camry around a tree. She thinks that’s where 99% of his paranoia comes from, knows that he feels responsible for ever letting it get that far. She tries to tell him that it’s not his fault, he couldn’t have done anything, but he won’t be reasoned with. The circle of trust had tightened substantially, but she honestly couldn’t bring herself to care. It was good to feel loved again.  
What made Carmilla’s death seem all that much more devastating was that she’d had no time to prepare; she wasn’t ready…there was still so much left to say…  
A soft blinking at the back of the room caught her attention, and she remembered that Perry had turned the camera on hours before, saying that it would be good to get it all out, even if no one saw it. The irony of the whole situation was that apparently, the only character to come out of this story unscathed would be the bloody camera. The stupid, dead eye that she’d been obsessing over for several months, it had never once judged her for any of her actions, the same of which couldn’t be said for any of her friends. The camera was the only one who listened without the formulation of a single judgment or argument. She figured that she could talk to it without any repercussions, she could explain everything to Carmilla just once, even if it was already too late. She slowly positioned herself in front of the desk, pillow still firmly clenched in white-knuckled fists, and addressed her waiting audience.  
***  
“Hello, everyone. I know it’s been four days since the battle, and you’re all probably wondering what’s going on, but I honestly haven’t even left the room. And I know that I sound pathetic, but at the moment, pathetic’s all I’m capable of.  
“Anyway, it’s been a while, most of the staff is being replaced with people who are most likely human, and Carmilla’s still gone.” Laura’s voice broke a little on ‘still’ and a lot on ‘gone’, and a few fresh tears wound the familiar path down the slopes of her cheeks.  
“I really don’t know much else about what’s going on out there, but I would like to address a few lingering… issues… that I have.  
“Carmilla…God, you useless vampire. How many times have you told me not to expect heroic actions from you just to turn right around and be the stupid hero? I just wish you were here. I wish that we had more time, that my last words to you hadn’t been so awful…But most of all I wish I could have told you how much you actually mean to me. Carm…” Laura paused to contemplate the gravity of her next statement, deciding to lower her voice like she were telling a particularly sensitive secret, as a sadly sweet smile crept unwittingly onto her face. “Carm, I love you. And as sweaty and delirious as I may be, it’s the truth.” She interrupted herself to blow her nose on an unsuspecting corner of the pillowcase just as a large black blur flashed by the open window (Perry had also insisted that the fresh air would do her good.)  
Laura ground the heels of her hands into her eyes in an attempt to get back on track, but it was impossible; the memories were surging like high tide and she had no energy left to push them back. It was all too much. She faced the camera once again.  
“I guess that’s all for now guys…This is really hard for me to do, so please be patient.” Turning the camera off, she hiccupped a sigh into the pillow (it was really Carm’s pillow though, wasn’t it?) and she began to contemplate the lasting effects of her own morbidity. She was wrestling violently with the sudden thought that stars were dead, useless balls of burnt up chemicals when she heard the first little ping. Her attention snapped back to her laptop, all thoughts of star-chemistry instantly forgotten; she hadn’t been expecting to get feedback on this video at all, much less within the span of a whole two seconds. Even more surprising were the subsequent pings that seemingly came with ever increasing speed.  
The first comment simply read “CARMILLA!!!” which caused a fresh wave of anguish to wash over Laura, but at least she wasn’t grieving alone: it would appear that the masses had grown to love the sloppy vampire as well. However, after sifting through the mass of comments, one thing became abundantly clear: she needed to watch the video and keep a sharp eye on the window. After a few seconds of deliberation, she pressed play.  
And immediately cringed at the sight of her puffy, tear-stained face. She listened to herself barely keep it together as she spilled her heart to an inanimate object. What surprised her the most was that she recognized the same sorrow in her own countenance as she had so often seen in Carmilla’s when she spoke of her past. The pain of this realization struck Laura like a shard of glass to the heart, and she had to pause the video before wiping her eyes once again on the pillow.  
It was through a hazy film of tears that she saw exactly what everyone had wanted her to: the panther was frozen, paused and hanging in midair next to the window, all glowing golden eyes and sleek obsidian fur.  
“…Black as the pit and terrible as the night...”  
Laura’s bereaved mind instantly threw her back to the night when they’d spoken so candidly about the nature of things, and the pain of Carm’s death hit her square in the chest all over again, causing her to utter a soft cry as she fell out of the chair and onto the floor which was painful and hard and how did Carmilla sleep on this?!?  
CARMILLA! Her hair flew wildly in a writhing halo around her as she scrambled over to the window and leaned heavily on the sill, eyes scanning for anything out of the ordinary. Except all she saw was the same sidewalk and grass she’d always seen, no Carmilla in sight. She slumped back to the ground in despair. It was all a fluke. It had to be. There was no way she would just show up out of the blue, and more importantly, there was no way she would just let Laura think she was dead. Would she? Laura didn’t quite know the answer to that one, but another question had presented itself and was so much more pressing: If Carmilla was alive, then where was she going? Why wasn’t she coming back to the dorm first thing? What if all the people in the light were back and she had been with Elle this whole time? That terrified Laura more than anything, and she let her head fall back against the wall with the force of all her fear and she felt like she was back drowning in darkness an d she was falling further and further and-  
-the door to the bathroom creaked open, and out traipsed a very much alive Carmilla, freshly clothed and bandaged , still toweling off her damp hair. When her eyes locked onto Laura, who was now standing in incredulous outrage, she smirked and said, “Hey Cupcake, you miss me?” At which Laura let her jaw fall a few inches before ranting somewhat unintelligibly a few statements that sounded like “How?! What?! But I was here the whole time!” Carmilla just sashayed over to the smaller girl and murmured “I’m a vampire cutie, remember?” She pulled back a little, “Plus, I didn’t think you’d appreciate dead-pit smell…”  
Any other words Carmilla may have wanted to say were forgotten as Laura pulled her down for a bruising kiss that spoke of pain and love, desperation and adoration, and the promise of things to come. Just as Carmilla settled into the totally unexpected but completely addicting sensation of Laura’s breath mingling with her own, Laura pulled back. Rather abruptly…leaving Carmilla, head still tilted, lips still pursed, looking intensely confused. A look which only intensified when Laura’s open palm connected harshly with the line of her jaw, snapping her head to the side and knocking the towel off of its perch in what would have been comedic fashion if it weren’t happening to them. Instinctively, Carmilla grabbed Laura’s wrist, preparing for any more possible blows as she nearly bellowed “What in the frilly hell is wrong with you?!?” But by then all she could see was that Laura was crying, huge sobs wracking her tiny frame, and it was apparently her fault, so she allowed the other girl to pull her close, nuzzle deep into the crook of her neck, and let it out. She slowly brought her arms around Laura’s waist and allowed herself the great indulgence of simply holding her.  
“I thought you were dead, you idiot!” Laura whispered violently into Carmilla’s collarbone. “You weren’t supposed to be the big damn hero!” Her sobs slowly quieted into gentle hiccups and she let herself slump against Carmilla, utterly spent from the intensity of her sudden anger. Carmilla, for her part, reveled in the warmth she felt radiating from Laura, it felt to her as if it were proof of life, proof that this time around she had succeeded, she had actually saved the girl. Proof that she just might be as good inside as her friends now seemed to believe. As she felt Laura stir beneath her, she removed her chip from its previous location atop the smaller girl’s head and looked down to see two shining hazel eyes and a very sincere, albeit small, smile.  
“You’re alive…” Laura stated again slowly, wonder and delight displaying themselves so openly in her tone and her smile ever growing. All of a sudden, she burst into laughter and movement, cackling gleefully as Carmilla felt herself being waltzed to the bed before falling onto it face up. Laura sat on the edge next to her, and there was so much love in her eyes that Carmilla felt like something was breaking inside. It was too much to think about now, so instead she just pulled Laura down to her level and kissed her soundly for the second time that night.  
***  
Hours later, after approximately one vlog update, three pints of blood stolen from LaFontaine’s Honors Bio Class, and about a thousand kisses, Carmilla sat contently on Laura’s bed, squishing the yellow pillow to her chest and grinning like an idiot. True, waking up in the dark again had been terrifying, and clawing her way out of the pit had been beyond painful, but as she felt the odd sensation of 300 year old butterflies tickle the space where her heart used to be, she knew that it had all been worth it. Every last ache and bruise seemed to melt away as Laura emerged from the bathroom wearing pajamas and her smile…  
“Carm?” She didn’t think she’d ever get used to the nickname, nor did she want to.  
“Yeah Cupcake?” She smiled a genuine smile for what felt like the hundredth time that evening, and opened her arms for the smaller girl.  
“I just realized, I never apologized for hitting you earlier. I just, I got so mad all of a sudden because like, how could you do that to me? But now I understand and I just…Sorry.” Laura stuttered her way through the apology even though she’d practiced like ten times in the bathroom. She was also surprised, then, when instead of replying, Carmilla simply pulled her closer and nestled her head gently above Laura’s heartbeat, which incidentally hastened.  
“I thought it was her…” Carmilla mumbled balefully, reluctant to bring up the thought right after the obviously sincere apology.  
“What?” Laura clearly had no clue as to what she was talking about. Clarifying, Carmilla stated, “Earlier, when you hit me…for a second I thought my mother still had some control over you.” Her tone was despondent and even though Laura couldn’t see her face, she could imagine the pain that would be flashing through Carmilla’s eyes.  
“Oh Carm…” She was quite literally at a loss for words…what do you say to someone who almost thought their evil vampire mother was controlling you from beyond the grave? She couldn’t think of anything helpful to say, so she figured she wouldn’t say anything at all.  
Slowly, she raised a finger to the underside of Carmilla’s chin and lifted her head until their eye lines were even. She gazed into Carm’s eyes, pouring all the love and reverence she felt for the other girl into that one look, before leaning forward to capture parted lips with her own. The kiss was chaste, as had all the others been, but this one was…more. It felt so pure and true, and just as oxygen became an issue for the human half of the equation, Laura realized that Carmilla was crying.  
Breaking the kiss, she wiped away crystalline tears and felt her own heart break for this beautiful girl who had had her heart broken more times than seemed even possible. Looking into those inky, dark eyes once more, Laura said, “You did it Carm. You saved us, you saved me. She’s gone and she can never hurt you again. Ever.” Carmilla sniffled a little, smiled a little, and replied,  
“I know, Laura. I know.” Laura snuggled deeper into her side and laid her head on the coveted pillow with an enormous yawn. “Whoa there, Girl Scout! You better get some sleep, big day tomorrow.” Carmilla pressed a quick kiss to the underside of her jaw before watching the lights dim in Laura’s eyes. It was remarkable how quickly she could fall asleep when you took into account all of the sugar in her bloodstream. “Just please, for the love of God, never go all Chuck Norris on me again.” Carmilla whispered, smirking. She felt Laura let out a little laugh and then heard a small sleepy voice say, “Only if you promise to stop being the hero…”  
Just as she drifted off, Carmilla whispered back, “Deal, but only if you promise me forever…” She was sufficiently surprised when Laura murmured back, if only because she could have sworn she was out cold, “Mhmm. Forever. Take it; it was already yours.” And as she snuggled closer and murmured even quieter, “Love you Carm.”  
She was finally asleep just before she felt the first tear slide down Carmilla’s cheek to kiss her neck.


End file.
